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Writer's Block: Jumped the shark


DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES..... that was a no brainer.

Writer's Block: Left Behind


LJ::User=HASH(0x2b18cce9b9e0)
What do you want done with your body after you die?
I have actually thought about this, at length. It may be morbid but you're the one asking the question so what does that make you.... anywhoooo bugaboo, yeah i said it. At first I thought that I really wanted to be cremated and like kept on my rich husbands mantle. Just sitting there looming over the young, blonde 20-something that he would definitely marry immediately after I kicked the bucket because of too many dirty martinis. Then I thought that if she was sucking dick well enough, and she damn right oughtta be, he would let her move it or he would stick it in a mausoleum somewhere so as to not feel so guilty that he was now sticking his peen into something so soon. If all else failed, I would definitely be knocked over by one of the asshole kids he made me have before he fell madly out of love with me and we had sex only for the reason of procreation and nothing else... or Guadalupe, the maid and then I'd have to be sucked up by a Dyson and while I love that line of technology, I don't want to be inside of one, even if it is yellow. And God forbid she used a Hoover or something like that, fuck that shit.
Then I pondered the idea of being buried, but I am way too pretentious and too big of a pain in the ass, even after death, to want to be buried the regular way. I'd have to have a green funeral. Just to make my relatives search high and low just to find one of those weird graveyards that does this sort of thing. Then I could watch them carry me around in a potatoe sack instead of a big waste of money coffin while I cross my fingers hoping that I fall out just so I could laugh.
Then I REALLY thought about it and I decided I don't give a flying fuck. Put me in a Hefty and throw me off the Ben Franklin Bridge and let me float into Camden for all I care. In fact, let some necro have sex with me and make some money off of it, be industrious. So yeah, after all that I really don't care what they do with my body, I'd just prefer not to pollute the Earth, I did enough of that during my lifetime.

Jan. 19th, 2009


Ok, so I have never written in this, so I figured now was as good a time as any to start. You know, new year, new you, new bullshit? Yeaaah that's it. So right now I'm doing ok, still looking for some kind of lucrative employment and struggling to find my niche when it comes to relationships. Been watching a ton of movies lately, they help ease the loneliness along with my mind. I've been tring to watch movies that won awards at the Golden Globes, and/or were nominated.
So let's see.... I started with Sumdog Millionare, which really was all it was cracked up to be. At first I thought it may have been another case of overrating which happens so often in Hollywood, and besides, the concept just seemed so strange, I mean c'mon, a poor orphan becomes a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionare" in order to find his long lost love? Sounds dumb to me, but it actually turned out to be amazing and exciting, Freida Pinto is an absolute fucking goddess, and her and Dev Patel make the most amazing on-screen couple, so much so that Patel went on the record talking about what a huge crush he had on her and basically how bad he wanted to give it to her, in so many words. Its kind of a love story without the cheese.
Vicky Christina Barcelona, was something I had to watch because of my undying love for Woody Allen and self loathing, daughter sexing jewish ass. Javier Bardem is fucking hot and Penelope Cruz and ScarJo are even hotter, and they make out. Everyone wins, gays, lesbians, and straights, all alike. The movie is really well-done and while Scarlett has taken the place of Mia Farrow and Diane Keaton as Allen's muse, even though she has publically denied it (even after he made 3 movies in the last 4 years for which he created characters just for her), Penelope is the one who really steals the show, receiving a nom for a Critic's Choice Award for Best Supporting Actress. Cruz , who plays Maria Elena, which needs to be said in the most obnoxious, West Side Story accent, is just doing what she does best, playing a fucking certificable crazy Spanish woman with the sexual prowess of female lion on exstacy, you know, the same charcter she played in Blow, just without, well, uhh the blow. I really liked this movie, aside from the annoying WASP that played Vicky. There was just enough sex in it, balanced by just enough wine drinking to incite a good amount of crazy. Woody Allen never ceases to amaze me and this is definitely just as good as Match Point (which received a ton of accolades and recognition), if not better.
Then I watched Gran Torino, and I must say, Clint's still got it. You know that badassery that made him Dirty Harry? Its still there. He's such an amazing actor and once again the synopsis originally sounded dumb, an grumpy old man struggles with gangs as he witnesses his neighborhood undergoing a huge cultural change as Asian immigrants begin to move in. I expected the whole "Get off my lawn" thing that usually comes along with seniors, and while it was there, it was still good without being too stereotypical. I think it's a movie everyone can appreciate.
I watch Milk!!!! By far my favorite movie for a really long time. In my opinion, Sean Penn was fucking jipped at the Golden Globes when they gave the award to that weirdo Mickey Rourke for that Wrestler bull shit and he went up and thanked his fucking pets for helping him to win the award. But he got the Critic's Choice Award for Best Actor, which he more than deserved. At that ceremony, James Franco and Josh Brolin were both nominated for Best Supporting Actor, which goes to show you what a phenomenal cast this movie possessed, but of course the award had to go to Heath Ledger, what with him being dead and all. This is all neither here, nor there, this movie was out of this fucking world, I cried like 7693477 times throughout the thing and Diego Luna successfully creeped me out to the maximum. The movie was beautifully done and though I hadn't known much about Harvey Milk aside from what I had read on Wikipedia upon first hearing about the movie and the fact that he came up with that great catch phrase, "I am Harvey Milk and I am here to recruit you", something tells me that this was an extremely accurate portrayal and justice has been done by his legacy. YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE. I feel like underneath all of it, a wonderful lesson was taught about tolerance, perserverance, and human nature.
Then I downloaded Notorious, you know that Christopher Wallace (aka Biggie Smalls, Notorious B.I,G.) biopic, at the request of my brother, aka Joshy G-Unit. I expected the quality to be extremely poor, but I was pleasantly surprised when it was definitely watchable. Beforehand, I thought I would really dislike this movie and was only watching it in order to spend some Q.T. with my little brother. Again, I was wrong, it was a pretty good movie. The downsides were that NONE of the characters looked like the people that they were supposed to be portraying, there were a ton of storylines involving these people that have been well documented and were drastically overlooked, and for some reason I really missed Voletta Wallace's Jamaican accent that was not even attempted to be tackled by Angela Bassett. All of that aside, it was a mediocre movie that will never win any awards, but pretty well done I guess. I just don't understand why violence is erupted in movie theaters throughout the country where this film is being shown, especially since its occurring before the movie is shown. I could see some violent riots from people who wanted thei money back or who were just enraged by the move itself, but these people hadn't even sat through it. One may never know.
I watched Bride Wars with America's sweetheart, Anne Hathaway (who also won an award for Rachel Getting Married, while Angelina gave her that death stare) and America's hook-up whore, Kate Hudson. It was cute and pretty funny, but a definitely chick flick, without any argument. It delivered what it was supposed to, a couple of cutesy little giggles, a bit of catty drama, and a happy ending all tied together with Tiffany blue colored bow.
Lastly, I watch Revolutionary Road, which was obligatory after seeing Kate Winslet win an award for it and react in the way she did, while blatantly forgetting Angelina Jolie's name while mentioning all the other nominated women in her category, HA! Plus, it was Kate and Leo reuniting for the first time since Titannic, and while we all may say that movie was cheesy, corny, and incredibly historically inaccurate I would love to meet one person who can say that they did not shed a single tear for that movie honestly. Anyway, this movie was really intense and she was definitely amazing in it. Leo was typical Leo, you know that character that he plays pretty often, he;s in this one too, well-acted nonetheless. She most certainly deserved the award for this movie, it must have been incredibly taxing on her and very emotional and they play off of each other sooooo well.
Tonight, I am going to tackle Happy-Go-Lucky, which won some kind of award, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Doubt, Changeling and I am going to suck it up and watch the Wrestler because I think my brother might enjoy it.  I am still trying to get Rachel Getting Married and The Reader. Ill keep you all posted as I reenter my life lived vicariously through good movies. Maybe next time I'll have the balls to acually delve into the mess that is my life right now while finding something interesting for all of my fans to read. Haha, good night.